I can't leave. Where would I go? How would I pay my bills, to live? I don't want to be a bag lady living on the streets, sleeping under a bridge.

Sadie moved quietly through the house while her husband slept. She looked through the window to see a patch of blue sky as the sun rose. The empty place beside her husband's care reminded her of her place. He didn't like her to drive his car so she used it only when she had to. She had no car. He said they couldn't afford to buy one for her.

She'd fallen while he was at work. When he arrived back home after his shift she told him. It never occurred to him to ask her if she was OK. He came out of the upstairs bathroom grumbling because the toilet had "been running for 20 minutes," an exaggeration.

"Funny," she had answered. "I had to flush it three times and stand there to hold the handle down to get it to wash out once. The downstairs toilet flushes the bowl twice and you don't have to stand there. You can hit and run! I see how I rate around here."

He had neglected her needs for a long, long time. Like her mother had done with Sadie's father, Sadie had patiently tolerated his neglect of her, certain that one day Nate would get his head on straight and everything would by the way marriage was supposed to be. After all, the Economic Malaise had created consequences for countless families.

Nate hadn't been the same since the layoff. Times worsened for them. She wasn't sure which was worse: the emotional absence (he was there, but he wasn't), the neglect of needs (not luxuries) or the cruel words he spoke when he finally did open up a little.

Sadie didn't want to leave. She loved him. He was the husband of her youth, the father of her children. It's easy to love when everything is good and right. The true test of love comes during the difficult, the hard times. As far as she could tell, he'd failed the test of love. How could he not have been concerned enough to ask if she was OK when she told him about falling? If it was anyone else he would have asked, wouldn't he?

She didn't want to abandon him. And she didn't know if she was living with domestic violence. She just knew that life had taken a dark, difficult turn. Life-her life-had been challenging, strengthening. She still had hope. But Nate was angry and had given up on hope.

What is hope, then, but the only thing left in Pandora's box when all the other evils escaped? Hope gave a person strength, Sadie decided. When money wasn't an issue, things were OK. Lack of it turned their lives upside down.

The Allstate Foundation sponsored a national poll that "found that more than three-quarters of Americans believe the poor economy has made it more difficult for victims of domestic violence, and two-thirds believe it has caused an increase in domestic violence."

The press release from the foundation advises that "eight out of 10 Americans link economic abuse to Wall Street woes or irresponsible spending rather than a more dangerous form of abuse that happens on Main Street each day."

The advisory continues, "For victims of domestic violence[e]conomic abuse is a tactic commonly used by abusers to control their victims' finances and prevent them leave a dangerous relationship."

If you are uncertain about your relationship, whether you are living the cycle of domestic violence, you need to know. For more information about domestic violence and available programs to help you and your family or someone you know, contact Family Recovery Center, 964 N. Market St., Lisbon; phone, 330-424-1468 or e-mail, info@familyrecovery.org.